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youyou keep haunting me,
you keep popping into my dreams,
your words sting haunt my ears.
I've tried to move on, to forget,
I've tried to extend a hand,
I've tried to not care, or worry...
out of all all the ones I've loved
the one who's caused so much pain,
why do i think of you still?
every time i think of you
i hate myself,
what I've done, what I've said...
i wish i could show you, prove to you
that i mean what i say,
that i still, somehow, love you.
Untitledi can feel it close
this pain, this loneliness
it's done it's damage,
it's left it's scars.
they've led up to this,
which ever word you like...
I've given up,
I've asked why
i have no answers...
so I'm just closing,
closing up my heart,
closing up my thoughts...
is anything real
in this complacent world?
are there any truths
in the thoughts of virtues?
is anything real
in the moments in life?
another sleepless nightTime clicks by,
I still try,
No sleep tonight,
Thoughts fill my mind.
True and false,
What came to pass.
The light burns bright,
Burns in my eyes,
Waiting for sleep tonight.
Yearning for sleep,
Maybe even dreaming,
As long as my mind lets me.
Silence all around,
Only ambient sound.
Wishing to snore, so loud,
Wanting sleep, here, now.
No one near by,
No warm body at my side,
No tears to cry,
No sleep, day and night.
messy thoughtsregret, hate, fear, sadness.
writers block, speechless,
wandering aimlessly, lost.
how did this all come to be?
how is it all who've wronged me,
have a perfect life, happy ending
crying, hiding, screaming,
sleepless nights, tired,
sitting alone, forgotten.
why am i the one only paying?
i know i did wrong, but why,
why don't they get the same pain?
rage, anger, pain,
over taken, weakened.
what makes it right?
the ones who harm, and lie
always get what they want in life.
depressed, fed up,
not worth love, happiness.
when did this become right?
the ones who cheat and lie,
are given everything, no fight.
scarred from the pain.
who have i wronged?
am i really the cause
for my own misery?
given up, fed up.
what's the point?
where is their karmic return?
they do wrong, cause pain,
yet aren't given that in return.
lied to, betrayed,
torn, ripped, shred,
mind, body and soul.
to know they've bee
what i missed...To look back in time,
reviewing your life,
seeing all the mistakes done,
knowing now what has come.
would you do it over?
"do it right?"
would you learn the unknown?
to finally find out the "how's", the "why's".
to learn why you had no choice at times,
to see who is worth the fight,
or when to let it go, or say "no"?
wouldn't it be nice to,
change your life for he better,
maybe stop the pain from the lies,
avoid the most dangerous of times?
would you see why;
parents, friends, loves,
why did they hurt you so much?
why did they leave you behind?
would you stop them?
questions everyone ponders over.
i know what my decisions would be.
to have a "normal" family,
to have a dad to
"walk me down the isle."
to have a mom,
to do what ever a mom and daughter would do.
to have childhood friends,
to swap those stories with.
having a "girls night out".
to not feel so alone, and awkward.
maybe these simple things
seem so mundane to others,
but they are all things i never had.
to see a happy child wi
the emptinessthat void,
it fills me with
a longing, a want
to fill what I'm missing.
what made this hole in me?
why can i not find it's filling?
where are the right pieces?
what is it that I'm missing?
how many times have i tried?
i can't fill what i don't know,
what i don't understand.
how did this happen??
did someone cause this?
is it self inflicted?
feeling alone, forgettable,
someone who's unlovable;
even though I'm told otherwise.
i can't believe, or see their words.
with this void inside me.
this void eats the good,
the positive, the love,
leaving me secluded.
what am i missing?
how can i fill this pit?
what piece can fit?
is there a way i can feel
whole, loved, and accepted?
dreams, nightmaresshadows of past times
run through my mind.
fragments of what could be
play out scenes for me.
people, words, actions,
all that had been done.
the fears of seeming certain people
cause so much pain, it could kill.
dreams so sweet,
i wish they were real.
nightmares so clear,
i wake from strong fear.
wy do these dreams
come at times, so lonely?
why can't my dreams be true?
i wish i could be with you,
now that I've learned, and grown,
knowing what i should and shouldn't do.
these shadows haunt me,
so realistic, wondering are they real?
sights, sounds, feelings, regrets,
all things I'd rather forget.
if only i knew you'd cause this pain
i wouldn't feel this pathetic, and lame.
i hope these dreams could be true,
to have another chance to be with you.
i dread these nightmares come to be,
you won't have a new chance to hurt me.
darkness completemy eyes burn,
my fists clenched,
my throat growls,
my body shakes....
all this negative energy
has built up inside me,
it wants for a release,
something, someone to beat.
my eyes can't ever believe
all the evil grins they see,
the pain from so many tears,
the red hue from hate in me.
my fists clenched so tight,
veins pulse plain in slight.
they long for a cruel fight,
all to make things right.
my throat holding a deep growl,
wanting to release so many vowels,
sounds so dark, to make everyone cower,
words so strong, hate, and power.
my body shakes from all the rage,
like a wild beast fighting a cage,
it longs to cause so much pain,
to the one who caused this hate.
my heart black,
my teeth bared,
my mind dark.
my heart has turned pitch black,
it will never be turned back.
it calls out for pain to exact
revenge on the one who caused this act.
my mind, has grown so dark,
only thinking on its part.
no longer cares who you are,
it's focus, avenge this heart.
all this darkness
caused from my
My mind deals with
Overcomes my judgement
Today it's no different
I can't take it anymore
Observing my image but
Nothing is revealed
Before My Mouth Told You I Was Sickbefore my mouth told you i was sick, there were
the fingers that wrapped around cups and cups of tea.
i sipped oceans.
i sipped the seven seas
and my ribs were the rainstick that
sent shivers pattering like some
down your swaying, praying spine.
there were the hurricanes.
that is what you came to call them,
my eyes burst into lightning,
my chest quaked with thunder,
when my ribs heaved with the monsoon
that was my breath
until i collapsed, shaking, into your
beach house arms.
there were the missing beats.
sometimes my heart slowed, stopped,
staggered home drunk to gasp morse-code warnings
between my aching ribs.
sometimes the stillness was so perfect
(and alone so tempting)
that i wished for the beat
to wander far and
to be forever lost.
there were the ribs, and the collarbones.
i was a mountain range with
blood in my rivers,
you saw the carrot sticks
(oh god how could you)
and you let me feed myself with
there was the blood i was suppose
little victories.when i was younger,
i thought i was the strongest
little girl in the world
because i could easily
beat my older brother
at arm wrestling.
it wasn't until years later
that i realized
To the person who holds my best friend's heart...I know that is is kind of weird
But I felt that I should write this down.
I need to tell you what I feel
And tell you what he means to me.
He's my best friend and he's a good man.
Please, give him the love and respect he deserves.
He may seem goofy but he's very sweet.
I know this because he was always there for me when I was sad.
Now, I know that you're not bad
Cause he would never choose someone who's mean.
But I still want to tell you just in case you forget in the future;
Please don't break his heart.
He's been through so much
And he doesn't deserve something like that.
He is the kind of person who smiles even when he's hurt by others
And would take any pain for the people he loves.
I know, I've witnessed it.
I know he may seem kind of childish sometimes
But don't let it get to you.
It's just his way of expressing himself.
He's very caring and I'm sure he'll do anything to make you happy.
He doesn't look like it but he's very kind and thoughtful.
He'll put your needs before h
in which I gain sentiencesave room
for doubt, in the silence between
religious guilt and stolen
body heat. I am made of helium.
in my dreams they
pop me and
watch me flutter. I wonder if everyone
else’s head is so congested as mine,
hyperactive with inattentive people.
you are never serious--
he stares at me in a different
set of eyes; there are words
I cannot say, there are
things I cannot tell you.
(twice a week
I watch the people I love
leave me for good.
spiders in my throat,
I Saw a Burning ManIn front of my house, he sat.
Skin burnt off, now charred and black.
Hesitantly, I walked outside.
And he followed me with his watery eyes.
With steps as nimble as the snow,
I hid my fear and continued to go.
Now before him, the Burning Man.
I kindly offered him my shaky hand.
No malice nor vice leaked off of him,
rather sadness and agony which simmered below his skin.
I could feel it around me, the pain and despair,
yet, physically the man was nearly repaired.
For his scorched skin was not his problem,
instead the bottled emotions that devoured all of him.
“Would you like to come inside sir, and stay?”
In which he replied by looking away.
Again I asked, and received no reply,
and was startled when the man began to cry.
Unsure of what to do, I walked away,
Yet I’ll never forget what happened that day.
Be it from pain, or mute, or undisclosed desires,
I watched as the man was engulfed in fire.
I stood back in awe, with my mouth agape,
and feared that he had fallen into
you're wearing isadora's scarvesoh, i hope you never love me, satyr-girl.
misanthropic mistress, i am coughing up
crows & bleeding blue beneath pocked
vessels; these worn teeth may be ink-
cavities, but i have never been your poet boy.
Can you look deeper?You see that girl you just bullied?
The one you harassed over her choice of art?
The art of a man beating a woman to death?
She saw her father kill her mother when she was five.
You know that man who likes to photograph himself in dresses?
The one you called a homo because of his choice of clothing?
Well, his parents wanted him to be a girl instead of a boy.
So they made him dress like that everyday to pretend he was a girl.
You know that woman who writes stories about child rape?
The one you bullied until she didn’t know how to cope with life anymore
Her uncle has been in jail for the past eleven years.
He raped her daily for seven years of her life.
What about that guy who favored abstract artwork?
Do you remember him he liked to use the colors red and black a lot.
He was nearly beaten to death when he was fourteen.
He only knows nightmares because he remembers seeing his blood on the wall.
What about me? Do you remember me? Even just a teensy little bit?
You bullied me because
memoriesOur secret kisses in the moonlight,
The feeling of happiness just by being st your side,
The long walks thru town st night,
The promises to always strive and solve any fights.
These happy times haunt my heart,
The memories of our promise to never part,
I wish they flourished instead of becoming what they are.
The tears we shed when you had to leave,
The promise to be mine, and return for me,
the smile i had for only you to see,
The happy future i still hope and wish could be.
Is there some part of you that holds to these memories,
A small part that cried when i would beg "please"
A part that regrets all those broken promises,
Something screaming "don't say goods bye!"
A part of your heart that longs to be mine,
Are you breaking like me deep down inside?
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More