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youyou keep haunting me,
you keep popping into my dreams,
your words sting haunt my ears.
I've tried to move on, to forget,
I've tried to extend a hand,
I've tried to not care, or worry...
out of all all the ones I've loved
the one who's caused so much pain,
why do i think of you still?
every time i think of you
i hate myself,
what I've done, what I've said...
i wish i could show you, prove to you
that i mean what i say,
that i still, somehow, love you.
Untitledi can feel it close
this pain, this loneliness
it's done it's damage,
it's left it's scars.
they've led up to this,
which ever word you like...
I've given up,
I've asked why
i have no answers...
so I'm just closing,
closing up my heart,
closing up my thoughts...
is anything real
in this complacent world?
are there any truths
in the thoughts of virtues?
is anything real
in the moments in life?
another sleepless nightTime clicks by,
I still try,
No sleep tonight,
Thoughts fill my mind.
True and false,
What came to pass.
The light burns bright,
Burns in my eyes,
Waiting for sleep tonight.
Yearning for sleep,
Maybe even dreaming,
As long as my mind lets me.
Silence all around,
Only ambient sound.
Wishing to snore, so loud,
Wanting sleep, here, now.
No one near by,
No warm body at my side,
No tears to cry,
No sleep, day and night.
messy thoughtsregret, hate, fear, sadness.
writers block, speechless,
wandering aimlessly, lost.
how did this all come to be?
how is it all who've wronged me,
have a perfect life, happy ending
crying, hiding, screaming,
sleepless nights, tired,
sitting alone, forgotten.
why am i the one only paying?
i know i did wrong, but why,
why don't they get the same pain?
rage, anger, pain,
over taken, weakened.
what makes it right?
the ones who harm, and lie
always get what they want in life.
depressed, fed up,
not worth love, happiness.
when did this become right?
the ones who cheat and lie,
are given everything, no fight.
scarred from the pain.
who have i wronged?
am i really the cause
for my own misery?
given up, fed up.
what's the point?
where is their karmic return?
they do wrong, cause pain,
yet aren't given that in return.
lied to, betrayed,
torn, ripped, shred,
mind, body and soul.
to know they've bee
what i missed...To look back in time,
reviewing your life,
seeing all the mistakes done,
knowing now what has come.
would you do it over?
"do it right?"
would you learn the unknown?
to finally find out the "how's", the "why's".
to learn why you had no choice at times,
to see who is worth the fight,
or when to let it go, or say "no"?
wouldn't it be nice to,
change your life for he better,
maybe stop the pain from the lies,
avoid the most dangerous of times?
would you see why;
parents, friends, loves,
why did they hurt you so much?
why did they leave you behind?
would you stop them?
questions everyone ponders over.
i know what my decisions would be.
to have a "normal" family,
to have a dad to
"walk me down the isle."
to have a mom,
to do what ever a mom and daughter would do.
to have childhood friends,
to swap those stories with.
having a "girls night out".
to not feel so alone, and awkward.
maybe these simple things
seem so mundane to others,
but they are all things i never had.
to see a happy child wi
the emptinessthat void,
it fills me with
a longing, a want
to fill what I'm missing.
what made this hole in me?
why can i not find it's filling?
where are the right pieces?
what is it that I'm missing?
how many times have i tried?
i can't fill what i don't know,
what i don't understand.
how did this happen??
did someone cause this?
is it self inflicted?
feeling alone, forgettable,
someone who's unlovable;
even though I'm told otherwise.
i can't believe, or see their words.
with this void inside me.
this void eats the good,
the positive, the love,
leaving me secluded.
what am i missing?
how can i fill this pit?
what piece can fit?
is there a way i can feel
whole, loved, and accepted?
dreams, nightmaresshadows of past times
run through my mind.
fragments of what could be
play out scenes for me.
people, words, actions,
all that had been done.
the fears of seeming certain people
cause so much pain, it could kill.
dreams so sweet,
i wish they were real.
nightmares so clear,
i wake from strong fear.
wy do these dreams
come at times, so lonely?
why can't my dreams be true?
i wish i could be with you,
now that I've learned, and grown,
knowing what i should and shouldn't do.
these shadows haunt me,
so realistic, wondering are they real?
sights, sounds, feelings, regrets,
all things I'd rather forget.
if only i knew you'd cause this pain
i wouldn't feel this pathetic, and lame.
i hope these dreams could be true,
to have another chance to be with you.
i dread these nightmares come to be,
you won't have a new chance to hurt me.
darkness completemy eyes burn,
my fists clenched,
my throat growls,
my body shakes....
all this negative energy
has built up inside me,
it wants for a release,
something, someone to beat.
my eyes can't ever believe
all the evil grins they see,
the pain from so many tears,
the red hue from hate in me.
my fists clenched so tight,
veins pulse plain in slight.
they long for a cruel fight,
all to make things right.
my throat holding a deep growl,
wanting to release so many vowels,
sounds so dark, to make everyone cower,
words so strong, hate, and power.
my body shakes from all the rage,
like a wild beast fighting a cage,
it longs to cause so much pain,
to the one who caused this hate.
my heart black,
my teeth bared,
my mind dark.
my heart has turned pitch black,
it will never be turned back.
it calls out for pain to exact
revenge on the one who caused this act.
my mind, has grown so dark,
only thinking on its part.
no longer cares who you are,
it's focus, avenge this heart.
all this darkness
caused from my
lost my voice.I wrote "I love you"
in the sand at the beach.
The tide swallowed the words
and drowned them
before I could speak.
HauntedI see her there with
Coal dust carved
Into the icy skin
Under her eyes,
And on her lips
Dance a chorus
Of bitter lies.
A skeletal hand of smoke
Claws at my neck
Until I bleed;
She tells me that the pain
Is just what I need.
And her blood
Zooms in her veins
Like speeding cars.
She looks at me
At what I am.
She’s a snake,
In the guise
Of a lamb.
‘What happened to us?’
Of what I used to be.
‘I may be you,
But you are not me.’
The sun comes up:
Yesterday is gone
But see it this way;
The past is part of the future
But the future isn’t the past.
You choose which bits go,
You choose which bits last.
How to love a poet: Expect them to be flawed,
a field of wild flowered-
& an inability
Love them anyway.
Know that when they look at you
they are noticing the little things.
Loving A Guy Who Cannot Love Himself.Firstly, tell him that he doesn't necessarily need to be the “strongest” man in the world,
that if he cries, you won't look down on him for it,
that you won't call him weak.
Tell him that he doesn't have to like sports, or fishing, or football, or any of the “mainstream” things that boys are “supposed” to like.
Let him know that liking art, or dancing, or singing or acting doesn't make him gay, doesn’t make him any less of a man, it just makes him who he is.
A human being.
And for goodness sakes, tell him that blue does not have to be his favorite color, than he can indulge in pink, or purple or even magenta!
And to the girl who take on the task, remember please, that it is not always the Knight who saves the Princess.
No, this time, the Princess may need to save the Knight.
Do not pour your problems onto him, rather, balance each other out.
Be a shoulder to cry on. A friend to be there. A love that never leaves.
Perhaps more than often,
You Ever Felt ItHave you ever felt it?
When you lay there broken
And feel yourself so guilty
Eyes gushing red
And you want to sleep in a coma
Your brain swelling with thoughts
At the same time empty with nothing
When you can't suit yourself
And see yourself a place among the demons
that moment when you control your life
The moment when you choose between life and death
And then you yourself can decide either way
It's when you're on the edge
And want someone to pull you back before you make another step
A hook, to rip all the insanity out of your body
And suck all the madness that is growing black dead trees
Have you ever felt it, have you known depression
Did you ever seek a source of help, and did you ever find it
I Fell In love Inside of a DreamI fell in love,
inside of a dream.
And woke up,
with a broken heart.
But it wasn't my heart,
that was broken.
It was his,
and I'll never see him again.
That long haired, pale skin,
blue eyed boy, will forever remain,
a figment of my imagination.
So close, yet so far away.
And I will never be able to apologize,
for my mistake.
ShatteredIf I found you, on your knees,
trying desperately to collect the shattered pieces of your heart-
I would kneel beside you and help you pick them up.
I would not cast a blind eye,
and pretend I had not seen you.
If I saw that your hands had been cut,
by the very shards of hope you were trying so hard to gather-
I would take your hands in mine, and hold them until the pain subsided.
Then I would kiss every wound- no matter how big or how small,
until I was sure you would be able to use your hands again.
If you were crying from the fear that you'd never be able to pick up everything,
I would hold you until your tears stopped, and I would comfort you with gentle words.
But I would not lie to you- I would never lie.
The heart is a frail thing- once shattered, it can never be fully repaired.
Parts will remain missing, and the mended hope will always bear cracks.
If we found that we'd gathered all that we were able,
and that there were a fine powder remaining of what we could not collect.
...You struck a chord in my soul.
Now it rings in my ears,
sweet melody that deafens
screams louder now can't hear it's own
a poem about too many people and too much heart.you were my
conclusion- the last paragraph
and the last thing
i got to say.
i loved you and i
took words from
between my eyelashes and i
put them down for
you, i took you apart
a million times
in my mind and always put you
and i drew
you, soft and silhouetted
window, the pane
foggy and i thought of you
in the darkest of
times, because i kept telling myself
that you were the
light (like you
i know that i am just
a girl with
too much heart and
too weak of ribs; but
i was hoping
that you would help the foxes
hunt the hounds, just for
memoriesOur secret kisses in the moonlight,
The feeling of happiness just by being st your side,
The long walks thru town st night,
The promises to always strive and solve any fights.
These happy times haunt my heart,
The memories of our promise to never part,
I wish they flourished instead of becoming what they are.
The tears we shed when you had to leave,
The promise to be mine, and return for me,
the smile i had for only you to see,
The happy future i still hope and wish could be.
Is there some part of you that holds to these memories,
A small part that cried when i would beg "please"
A part that regrets all those broken promises,
Something screaming "don't say goods bye!"
A part of your heart that longs to be mine,
Are you breaking like me deep down inside?
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More